Mirror

 I saw a man

He was dying

Dying to live

Constantly

I hope I never been around

But he was living so high

Since there was no one around

And he was avoiding everyone

In his crawling death

He just wanted to be heard

In his last breath

He's so dead

Red royal flush

 Hey could you give a bit of your time

My thoughts have been only about you

Hey you are such a strong hand

i haven't Been able to hold on

Don't put such a straight face

I'm no playing poker nor playing you

Just give me a bit of time

With you

You know I don't know how to play cards

Since the beginning i've been quite through

Straight hearts letters, no numbers,

How should I play this game?

You are so silent, could you remind me?

I'll play better, please explain

How I can be straight with you?

How Could you?

Ruminate

 Keep grinding my teeth

As you left me

Somehow gotta sleep

Is the sugar I ate?

I'm left with this

I keep biting it,

But I can't swallow

I'm still chewing

Is a never ending bone

And even if I'm able to end it

There is a lot as if I'm eating a human foot.

I'm not saying you shouldn't left me alone

I gotta keep chewing and eating

I gotta eat

Myself.

Realization

 The date was around 20 of february… maybe a month later… maybe a quarter less than the previous time.

I found it, once I arrived, it was calling me, resonating, ideas, thoughts, freedom, ideals, all made one, there have been a few times I’ve felt it.

I felt it when I knew that I had no talent on wind instruments, the same time I knew that football was not cut for me. Or being honest, my legs, no dexterity, my foots and body was not cut for sports.

The same time I noticed I was not able to let something take me somewhere in a different pace than the rhythm I walk when I set foot in a skateboard.

When I got excited with the first book and my hands started to hurt like roots starting to rapidly growth on two different sides of my body with romantic ideals.

That was it.

The things that make you believe that was set to be put on your life.

You came, resonated, and I thought I was able to adhere myself to the idea that you were meant to be part of it.

The same day I saw the rain fall down, downpour, the reverberation from a thunder, everything was good.

If I were a god, I would have said the same, “And it was good”.

Maybe the start, a mistake, was to love it too much. To desire the feeling too much, the idea of having something I felt it was done for me. I had an obsession.

I made the same mistake, putting too much strength to something I wanted to hold and I didn’t need to press on.

Oh, but I would have hold it close many times… even if I had to only embrace it, it felt good, better, tha something I could strive to.

But it ended, got the better of the worst of it, some sides I’ve never met of me.

Still, I appreciate it, it made know me better, or at least aspects I did not know, and, that now I need to fix.