Roaming ember dusk pt1

 I wish I didn't see your eyebrows arching up that way to the sky that morning.

Seemed like we wouldn't see us again.

I hope I didn't do the same.

I'm hoping you didn't see the same on me;

Fear took place.

Things and time led to the other and it came uninvited.

It came so fast.

I didn't even say good bye.

Is that what you feared?

Restless rest.

 Lately I feel, or full, should I say,  

satiated, 

complete.

But I'm not.

I wanted peace, but it's, oh, so quiet.

My heart doesn't move, and keeps a longing.

But longing... how?

if there is nothing to hold on to? or to miss.

My feelings and mind keeps clear,

I don't feel lonely!

But I can't feel which part,

I'm sure I'm missing a part?

Should I try to find it?

Do I know how it looks?

what is it?

I think, I feel, I shouldn't try to pry on it.

I won't come unscathed from that search.

Hold me.

 I'm afraid to say or feel,

by the short of what I felt.

My feelings are drawing borders on a night sky,

in which I'd like to fall,

even thought is just a mere sketch of what

my feeling drew.

But still I wouldn't mind

fall on such endless night.

You may be waiting on the dawn,

of the light that makes you see,

feel and breathe.

I wanted to breathe the air,

that you didn't want to keep,

I'd like to breath such air.

Should we take turns?

Would you let me try?

Water your roots,

you'll grow.

I'll water them

should I take them close?

Unplaced words.

 I'd wish I were more proud on how I put words.

'cause I wouldn't try to find other words to express myself.

But I don't know how to talk, and try to talk.

And everything ends in words that we couldn't say.

Not that we couldn't say in speaking matter,

nor we wanted to not express,

we didn't know how to say so the other one could guess us.

Cause talking is constant guessing's

and we were seeing different worlds.

So each words would fall in different places,

and we would arrange different paths that would eventually take us apart.

I truly wish there were words that could take us closer.

But now you are so far!

The best

 She used to be my "She",

She didn't belong to me, but it was she, 

for me, if any asked, I'd say:

- "It's her"

My she.

But she no longer is.

And I miss how I  used to say.

My girl, my good girl,

my lovely girl, my queen,

my empress, my girl.

She never belonged to me,

but she was with me,

and I loved her company.

I'd lie if I say I don't miss her.

I do.

I wish you the best.

I wish I were the best.

Our blind steps.

 How slow is taking the time to pass through,

To know about the last time I’ll hear you close.

I’ve constantly thought if I did my best

And If we’ll be happier from then.

 

I’ve been missing you days,

Each one are falling like old books full of white pages,

In which we could have filled

Our best and sweetest words.

 

But we carry different weights, and our baggage were falling

In each others feet, just when we were walking in

Delicate spaces.

They fell so heavy to each other.

And, oh!, we never knew how to pick them properly at the moment they fell!,

Without hitting ourselves.

 

Oh dear, I loved you, but following you was like holding wood

And its chip went easily under my nails.

And I tried to grip them hard,

I would hold them for you, I wouldn't mind.

But you never accepted that they also hurt me.