you are taking my lungs

Every time I sleep,

On the day, I inhale

Smokescreen to darken

The images I see

Reflections on my 

Rem sleep.

Would you leave me alone?

You, false images

Of what I think I need

Of what I miss.

Again, I went to sleep

And you were there.

"leave please!"

On every breath I take

My dark lungs scream,

And darken again.

I don't want to sleep, no...

And I need to take a break.

Lo creo.

No concibo matorrales,

No arbustos, no flores.

Tallos, y hojas,

Simples, funcionales, toscos.

Sobreviven, intestinales.

Gulturales, se arrojan.

Sin licencia

Cual planta entre baldosas,

Imprevisible, 

Pero natural,

Sobreviviente.

Irrefrenable, 

Irreverente.

No son árboles, no crecen altos,

No son bellos cual flores,

Son algo natural,

Son mi torpe expresar.

Mirror

 I saw a man

He was dying

Dying to live

Constantly

I hope I never been around

But he was living so high

Since there was no one around

And he was avoiding everyone

In his crawling death

He just wanted to be heard

In his last breath

He's so dead

Red royal flush

 Hey could you give a bit of your time

My thoughts have been only about you

Hey you are such a strong hand

i haven't Been able to hold on

Don't put such a straight face

I'm no playing poker nor playing you

Just give me a bit of time

With you

You know I don't know how to play cards

Since the beginning i've been quite through

Straight hearts letters, no numbers,

How should I play this game?

You are so silent, could you remind me?

I'll play better, please explain

How I can be straight with you?

How Could you?

Ruminate

 Keep grinding my teeth

As you left me

Somehow gotta sleep

Is the sugar I ate?

I'm left with this

I keep biting it,

But I can't swallow

I'm still chewing

Is a never ending bone

And even if I'm able to end it

There is a lot as if I'm eating a human foot.

I'm not saying you shouldn't left me alone

I gotta keep chewing and eating

I gotta eat

Myself.

Realization

 The date was around 20 of february… maybe a month later… maybe a quarter less than the previous time.

I found it, once I arrived, it was calling me, resonating, ideas, thoughts, freedom, ideals, all made one, there have been a few times I’ve felt it.

I felt it when I knew that I had no talent on wind instruments, the same time I knew that football was not cut for me. Or being honest, my legs, no dexterity, my foots and body was not cut for sports.

The same time I noticed I was not able to let something take me somewhere in a different pace than the rhythm I walk when I set foot in a skateboard.

When I got excited with the first book and my hands started to hurt like roots starting to rapidly growth on two different sides of my body with romantic ideals.

That was it.

The things that make you believe that was set to be put on your life.

You came, resonated, and I thought I was able to adhere myself to the idea that you were meant to be part of it.

The same day I saw the rain fall down, downpour, the reverberation from a thunder, everything was good.

If I were a god, I would have said the same, “And it was good”.

Maybe the start, a mistake, was to love it too much. To desire the feeling too much, the idea of having something I felt it was done for me. I had an obsession.

I made the same mistake, putting too much strength to something I wanted to hold and I didn’t need to press on.

Oh, but I would have hold it close many times… even if I had to only embrace it, it felt good, better, tha something I could strive to.

But it ended, got the better of the worst of it, some sides I’ve never met of me.

Still, I appreciate it, it made know me better, or at least aspects I did not know, and, that now I need to fix.

Sleepy head/sleep pills

She's there, she had the fire.

But when she's about to sleep

I'm not sure if she's there,

she turns so quiet.

When you close those eyes,

I'm there?

I'm holding fire, to find me,

but it melts down, consumed

take your time

But I can feel it, going down.

If I go to sleep before,

Would you be scared of the same?

would you hold the fire too?

Still,

Stay with me.

I don't want you to leave.

Away from you, still close.

Awaken, like fire,

Burns,

Crackles smiles,

Crackle the woods

That ates.

At the ashes sleeping

In a slow slumber,

embers still,

Gentle heat bearer.

In a slow awaken,

A swamp, slow, steady.

Here at all times,

I wonder how you see me

I'm a tent, a camp?

I'm your home, I'm your lamp?

USK pt 5 Sabor a Cuba

 Doors.

Door-like windows,

Most of them shut, closed,

Am I approachable, yes, I see them come?

I have flowers as hair,

the grow everywhere,

They cut them pretty for me,

they pull them close to me.

I' was colorless, then faded,

I'm blushing now,

golden shoes, golden crown.

USK pt 3. Parque del avión

 I'm (not) a plane,

I entertain,

I don't fly,

children play.

I wont go, I won't arrive,

so here, they find me all the time.

I wonder if they imagine me in the sky,

or if they just play on the slide,

still, they can ride me any time... should I say fly?

In the day, at night.

I'm a reminiscence of a plane

That gave this place its name.

USK PT. 2 Catedral y Estatua.

 Me erigieron aquí, allá,

y veo a muchos, a pocos, y dejo de verlos.

Los veo con prisa, los veo andar lentos,

Veo ebrios, veo cuerpos, veo muertos.

Veo felices, tristes, desterrados y arrastrados.

A mi me ponen cuerdas, pañuelos, palabras,

escriben sus nombres, los borran.

Me limpian, me pulen, me derrocan, me cambian,

me adoran, me maldicen.

Soy imagen, historia, recordada y olvidada.

Soy juzgado segun quien gane,

del lado de la historia.

Se burlan y se mofan,

me veneran y me respetan.

Pero no soy nada, soy la idea, la imagen,

del imaginario, de la masa.

Back Paper

 Do we still hate each other after these days?

I still wonder if you were high that day. Then I whispered to myself.

    - Why are we doing this?

Broken mugs,

broken glass,

broke your skin,

hurt mine.

And you kept medicines,

you never took one,

I did take some,

you never noticed it.

Some real scars,

that we left on us.

Broken bottle,

rotten food on bags,

still, I'd taken out,

all of that.

And we are still counting,

measuring, who was hurt the most?

just by looking,

at the other one.

Untitled.

 "Me encanta que haya crecido ese árbol"

    - Decía mientras miraba la ausencia de una pared blanca decolorada ahora  opacada por el nuevo árbol.

En mi patio hay 5 gigantes, verdes de diferentes color. Deseados, amados, indeseados, heredados y tercos.

Parecen de diferente rara procedencia y ajenos de donde crecen. Parecía ahora reconocer estos gigantes como la naturaleza de mi estremidades.

No había caído en cuenta antes de ellos hasta que mencionaron uno.

Sí, tal como esa mañana de resaca donde noté mis extrimadades extrañamente grandes. Explore mi rostro ahora con hilos de cabellos, la piel, mi ecuerpo y el hieco de mi cabeza en la almohada.

Había madurado, era un adulto, pero no habia reparado mi cuerpo.

En ese instante me sentí un desconocido en mi cuerpo.

USK Pt.1

 Me incluí en tí, joven,

cuando esto estaba poblado de nosotros.

Tú no eres de aquí, y por tí estoy en tí.

Cazadores iban y venían,

titularon esta tierra con el acto.

Entonces nos visitaban más.

Estamos ahora rodeado de piedras,

es una falsa sensación de accesibilidad.

¿Y para quién?

Nos visita mas el viento que nada.

En esta tierra de cazadores nadie caza.

y yo sigo acá pesándote,

hasta que nos cambien por otra piedra,

por otro acceso,

por una luz,

por un aviso,

por estorbar.

Roaming ember dusk pt1

 I wish I didn't see your eyebrows arching up that way to the sky that morning.

Seemed like we wouldn't see us again.

I hope I didn't do the same.

I'm hoping you didn't see the same on me;

Fear took place.

Things and time led to the other and it came uninvited.

It came so fast.

I didn't even say good bye.

Is that what you feared?

Restless rest.

 Lately I feel, or full, should I say,  

satiated, 

complete.

But I'm not.

I wanted peace, but it's, oh, so quiet.

My heart doesn't move, and keeps a longing.

But longing... how?

if there is nothing to hold on to? or to miss.

My feelings and mind keeps clear,

I don't feel lonely!

But I can't feel which part,

I'm sure I'm missing a part?

Should I try to find it?

Do I know how it looks?

what is it?

I think, I feel, I shouldn't try to pry on it.

I won't come unscathed from that search.

Hold me.

 I'm afraid to say or feel,

by the short of what I felt.

My feelings are drawing borders on a night sky,

in which I'd like to fall,

even thought is just a mere sketch of what

my feeling drew.

But still I wouldn't mind

fall on such endless night.

You may be waiting on the dawn,

of the light that makes you see,

feel and breathe.

I wanted to breathe the air,

that you didn't want to keep,

I'd like to breath such air.

Should we take turns?

Would you let me try?

Water your roots,

you'll grow.

I'll water them

should I take them close?

Unplaced words.

 I'd wish I were more proud on how I put words.

'cause I wouldn't try to find other words to express myself.

But I don't know how to talk, and try to talk.

And everything ends in words that we couldn't say.

Not that we couldn't say in speaking matter,

nor we wanted to not express,

we didn't know how to say so the other one could guess us.

Cause talking is constant guessing's

and we were seeing different worlds.

So each words would fall in different places,

and we would arrange different paths that would eventually take us apart.

I truly wish there were words that could take us closer.

But now you are so far!

The best

 She used to be my "She",

She didn't belong to me, but it was she, 

for me, if any asked, I'd say:

- "It's her"

My she.

But she no longer is.

And I miss how I  used to say.

My girl, my good girl,

my lovely girl, my queen,

my empress, my girl.

She never belonged to me,

but she was with me,

and I loved her company.

I'd lie if I say I don't miss her.

I do.

I wish you the best.

I wish I were the best.

Our blind steps.

 How slow is taking the time to pass through,

To know about the last time I’ll hear you close.

I’ve constantly thought if I did my best

And If we’ll be happier from then.

 

I’ve been missing you days,

Each one are falling like old books full of white pages,

In which we could have filled

Our best and sweetest words.

 

But we carry different weights, and our baggage were falling

In each others feet, just when we were walking in

Delicate spaces.

They fell so heavy to each other.

And, oh!, we never knew how to pick them properly at the moment they fell!,

Without hitting ourselves.

 

Oh dear, I loved you, but following you was like holding wood

And its chip went easily under my nails.

And I tried to grip them hard,

I would hold them for you, I wouldn't mind.

But you never accepted that they also hurt me.